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Currently I find myself among the ranks of the forcibly unemployed due to a company closure. Many people are in the same situation and I discover more every day. There are many things contributing to this condition and there is a lot of blame to go around. Pointing the finger after the fact would be like kicking a dead horse- so I don’t allow myself to go there. I would rather speak to the things I have learned upon being thrust into this position.

This is what I tell myself:

1. When a business that you are involved in fails, it does not mean you are a failure.

The situation, or process failed but you did not. You may have no income or job but you still exist. If the company still exists but has chosen to do so without you, it is not that you failed. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Failure is final, you won’t recover from failure. You are down but not out. Figure out what you need to learn from the situation and move on. That leads me to:

“A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” — B.F. Skinner

2. One person does not make a business and one person does not break a business.

Translation: It’s not about you! As soon as your business acquires an employee or a client, it is no longer yours. You may be the owner, proprietor, founder, manager or investor, but it is no longer your own. There are now built-in dependencies which are reality and must be dealt with. You can do nothing alone- as if you really ever could. (Oh, but I digress.)

3. You may not be able to control the situation but you can control your reaction to it.

Think about it, learn from it and let it go. Acknowledge the stages of grief and work through them. Anger is a waste of precious time, so is doing nothing.

4. Don’t be afraid to look for your next opportunity and don’t give up right away.

Statistics are just that, numbers that tell a story. They don’t tell the whole story, however. There are many, many unemployed people right now. (Sad, but true.) You are older than other jobseekers, your skills are not right- either you are over qualified or under qualified, you are not attractive enough-don’t get caught up in that. There is an opportunity out there for you, I am convinced! It could take a while to find…

5. Take advice but remember to apply it to yourself.

Every situation may have similarities and many can be generalized but there is only one you. You are the expert on you! I love to read, learn and experiment but sometimes I can be overwhelmed by all of the conflicting advice. I appreciate all of the experts and love to hear their thoughts. What worked for others may not work for you. Do you know what? I am fine with that.

6. Accept the possibility that others may think you are ordinary.

These days it is seen as a bad thing to be ordinary. Who and what defines ordinary? We all started somewhere. I have struggled for years with myself trying to achieve and be extraordinary. There is only one Juanita Kreps, one Sandra Day O’Connor, one Carol Mosley-Braun, and one Madeline Albright to name a few. I am not them and to try to be would be futile. I am uniquely me and no one else can be that. We all have a bit of greatness in us and we have our moments of brilliance. Others may not know about or experience our moments. I may be ordinary, but so what? It takes many ordinary people to make extraordinary things happen.